MARKETING STRATEGIES!
I believe everybody that has gone to a market in Lagos or Ibadan can relate to how frustrating and irritating it can be.
You will be looking for where to buy socks, ordinary socks o, before you know, you have gone home with shoes, a new wardrobe, one chair, one TV and a new born baby. "Why?", you might ask. One simple answer, "I went out with my ATM card and there was an ATM around".
Those things are pure evil! Everything will be entering somebody's eye! You will not know the amount you are spending except when it hits about 10k.
You see those 1k, 2k, 2k5 items, hahaha, pure evil! The worst thing to do is to go with a friend that you can lend money from.
Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I want to talk about marketing strategies and how their aim is to wreck you! I am big so it can be pretty difficult to get my size, that's one of the reasons I hardly ever buy clothes online.
When I go to the market, I will see some "brothers" that are always trying to use their hand (that I am sure they did not wash after they went to pee or after they picked their nose) to touch somebody. First of all, I WILL SLAP YOUR FACE!
Okay, let's forget about the germs for a second, my paranoia will never let me accept that they are not trying to use jazz to get me to buy things. As I am still trying to understand why a random stranger is trying to drag my hand to come and buy boxers and curtain, next thing, I will see one trouser that looks like they used 10 yards of clothes to sew it and the person holding it is telling me, "I have your size". When I see such things, I literally stop, look at myself, look at the bed sheet he is carrying and look at the person carrying it. Honestly, I do not even have energy to threaten to give him him a dirty slap. I always try to assume he would be sensible to see how ridiculous it is.
Next thing, I will hear one woman saying "My size, come and buy scarf". I have scarves but I rarely use them but the spirits (you see what I was saying about jazz) will whisper that I need the scarf to cover my body when I want to swim.
Beside that one, I will see shoes, 5 inch heels that I know I cannot carry but I will deceive myself into believing that I will wear it for one wedding that I know is not coming soon. In my mind, I am sharper than all their strategies.
In all this, please, let's not forget, what I went to the market to buy, socks.
Moving on, let's assume that I remember the socks and I tell someone that I want to buy socks (big mistake), that's how they will carry somebody inside shop and turn on the generator, you will think it is more than #200 socks. That's how I will remember that I do not have Facebook blue trouser, the one I have is Twitter blue. So, I buy because I can see it and it looks very attractive under the blue-green algae bulb.
Now, I have to get a shirt so I can appropriately combine the scarf, the trouser and the heels. One way or another, I end up buying sneakers, a new swimming trunk (to match the scarf and slay in the pool), 2 dresses and 3 other shirts.
At this point, I think I am satisfied so I go home to start trying them on to be sure they fit properly.
One arm into the dresses, I hear "praaaa". Okay, it's fine.
I try my Facebook blue trouser, I cannot breathe when it is buttoned.
Okay, I think it's fine.
I try the swimming trunk, I am practically spilling out of it.
Okay.......hmmm, it will be fine, at least I have sneakers that fit.
I have sweaty feet though so I would need some socks...
You will be looking for where to buy socks, ordinary socks o, before you know, you have gone home with shoes, a new wardrobe, one chair, one TV and a new born baby. "Why?", you might ask. One simple answer, "I went out with my ATM card and there was an ATM around".
Those things are pure evil! Everything will be entering somebody's eye! You will not know the amount you are spending except when it hits about 10k.
You see those 1k, 2k, 2k5 items, hahaha, pure evil! The worst thing to do is to go with a friend that you can lend money from.
Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I want to talk about marketing strategies and how their aim is to wreck you! I am big so it can be pretty difficult to get my size, that's one of the reasons I hardly ever buy clothes online.
When I go to the market, I will see some "brothers" that are always trying to use their hand (that I am sure they did not wash after they went to pee or after they picked their nose) to touch somebody. First of all, I WILL SLAP YOUR FACE!
Okay, let's forget about the germs for a second, my paranoia will never let me accept that they are not trying to use jazz to get me to buy things. As I am still trying to understand why a random stranger is trying to drag my hand to come and buy boxers and curtain, next thing, I will see one trouser that looks like they used 10 yards of clothes to sew it and the person holding it is telling me, "I have your size". When I see such things, I literally stop, look at myself, look at the bed sheet he is carrying and look at the person carrying it. Honestly, I do not even have energy to threaten to give him him a dirty slap. I always try to assume he would be sensible to see how ridiculous it is.
Next thing, I will hear one woman saying "My size, come and buy scarf". I have scarves but I rarely use them but the spirits (you see what I was saying about jazz) will whisper that I need the scarf to cover my body when I want to swim.
Beside that one, I will see shoes, 5 inch heels that I know I cannot carry but I will deceive myself into believing that I will wear it for one wedding that I know is not coming soon. In my mind, I am sharper than all their strategies.
In all this, please, let's not forget, what I went to the market to buy, socks.
Moving on, let's assume that I remember the socks and I tell someone that I want to buy socks (big mistake), that's how they will carry somebody inside shop and turn on the generator, you will think it is more than #200 socks. That's how I will remember that I do not have Facebook blue trouser, the one I have is Twitter blue. So, I buy because I can see it and it looks very attractive under the blue-green algae bulb.
Now, I have to get a shirt so I can appropriately combine the scarf, the trouser and the heels. One way or another, I end up buying sneakers, a new swimming trunk (to match the scarf and slay in the pool), 2 dresses and 3 other shirts.
At this point, I think I am satisfied so I go home to start trying them on to be sure they fit properly.
One arm into the dresses, I hear "praaaa". Okay, it's fine.
I try my Facebook blue trouser, I cannot breathe when it is buttoned.
Okay, I think it's fine.
I try the swimming trunk, I am practically spilling out of it.
Okay.......hmmm, it will be fine, at least I have sneakers that fit.
I have sweaty feet though so I would need some socks...
Mx
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